Life Lately
My goodness, it’s been a long time… it’s hard to believe we’re slowly approaching August already. I’ve ended up taking a very long break off of social media and this blog, and it was very much unintended. However, as life goes sometimes, I’ve been dealt bushels (and bushels and bushels) of lemons and have struggled to make lemonade. I think I’m writing this post and update as much for myself as to just try to get myself back into the mindset of blogging. This isn’t meant to be a sob story or a self-pity party, and I’m immensely grateful to be able to say that things are finally looking up. But, I’ve been in the midst of a personal winter since January.
A few moments that have brought me joy over the last several months…
My Riding Journey…
I’ve been debating whether or not to even talk about this journey and the end of what has been a very emotional chapter. I poured my heart into trying to make things with E.T. work, but through numerous conversations with close friends in the horse community, my vet and farrier, a horse trainer, and the wonderful New Vocations team from whom I adopted E.T., it was made clear that he just wasn’t happy and I was not ‘his person’. When I first got him, things were wonderful for the first month or so, but he quickly made it clear in a variety of ways that he was not happy with his new lifestyle and dressage.
Returning him was a heartbreaking decision that I struggled over for months, and I’ll admit it left me feeling simultaneously like a failure and questioning my many years of experience and abilities as an equestrian. It’s be a truly humbling experience and I’ll be the first to admit that my confidence around horses has been knocked, and I am still trying to find my footing again around the stables. Hard though the decision was (and still is — my goodness, I think of him every day), I am so grateful to the New Vocations team for helping me through this process and for ensuring E.T. finds a new home and person more suited to him, in an environment where he can shine for the talented and athletic horse that he is.
Once thing that has softened the blow is the realization that I have such a special community of supportive friends in the horse world who have been my sounding boards and cheerleaders throughout that many highs and lows I experienced in this journey with E.T. The horse world can be such a cut-throat, judgmental, and competitive place, and I count myself so fortunate to have such a wonderful group of ladies by my side.
On the Career Front…
Beginning in January, my career also underwent a jolting series of changes that have drastically altered my lifestyle. I’ve kept my professional experience and work off of this blog to date, primarily due to the nature of my work. However, as with so many in the northern Virginia as of late, I have opted to make a pretty major career move and have very recently resigned from federal service. I won’t get into the weeds here — an independent search online of all of the trials federal employees have faced recently will tell you all you need to know — but the changes in my position necessitated a change.
It’s been a scary transition and I’ve gone through feeling all of the emotions a number of times, but I’m finally feeling excited, motivated, and in control of my own life again. Working in the government had been a goal of mine since I was in college, and I’ll never forget how proud and excited I was when I finally landed a position in civil service… I had fully intended to make an entire career in the mission space I supported, but the changes that started in January proved to me two things: 1) that life had other plans for me, and 2) that change (as scary as it can be) can be a beautiful thing.
What’s Next…
Well, with two major changes and a few more personal tribulations now gratefully behind me, I am looking forward to embracing whatever comes next for me in this next chapter. Having just resigned from federal service, I’m looking forward to spending more time at home again, dreaming up plans for the future, and working on my own projects — whether they be professional, recreational, or personal. If this year’s taught me anything, it’s to embrace change because it will come whether I want it to or not!
